toxic poison

how can people listen to the trash on the radio?

now, saying this i must admit that i do listen to some of it.  however, listening to the radio is what spurred me on to write this.  no offense to the good clean sweet love songs out there, but half the popular music is just so obviously evil.  listening to the radio a song came on and as i listened to the lyrics i came to a realization.

the general teenage public listens to this, yet the words so obviously spit evil, talking about how falling for some guy is toxic and poisonous.  does anyone know what real love means?  or is this generation just going to grow up with the idea that a poisonous addiction is love?  that sex is a devil induced high that makes one feel dirty and dangerous? why can't teens possibly realize that perhaps this high isn't worth the grimy feeling?

and then on top of that, songs are seducing teens to go after the slimy high that celebrities are all unsatisfied with.  if even the popular songs on the radio speak of this dirty poisonous addiction, as just that, then why can't people see?  how can they think it will satisfy them?

not only is the media seducing our generation with a poisonous idea of sex, they are then turning around and presenting it as part of the package in an idealized version of love.  then our generation pretends that this combination of lies and poison is what love is about.

sure, some of us say that it's dumb or of course it is bad.  Yet we listen to it, watch it, read it - with the excuse that the music has a good beat, the movie has a good plot, or the book has an interesting story line.

now, on top of that, it is so sad and infuriating that women are now the dangerous and aggressive ones.  i am rather surprised how much female artists have either aggressive or angry songs.  additionally, it is teaching young girls that it is popular to be the aggressive, active one in a relationship.  yet Biblically the man is the leader and while women have many more rights than they used to, the man is still generally considered the leader in a household.

we are being numbed to the poison and deadliness of the evil that this world is saturated in.
- written 5/9/12 -

swinging...

the disappearing sun.  legs tucked under me... letting the cold wind play with wisps of my hair.

forward and back again...

forward...bringing the pool close enough to touch...

back again... funny how the icy breeze envelopes me through the slats of the swing...

...forward and back again

content in the rolling motion...

should go inside... before it gets colder... 

don't want to go... don't want to move...

just one more minute... 

just one more...

- written 3/8/12 -

...finished...

death.
blood.
blinding pain.
sheer overwhelming agony.

metal invades flesh,
encounters bone,
splintering it.

movement.
nauseating movement.

upright again, but now it is worse.
impossible to breathe.
must breathe.
need to breathe.

muscles weak.
spasms of pulling.
straining upward.
tearing at the holes made by metal stakes.
surfacing for air.

sinking down again at the pain, at the strain.
blood trickles down sweat drenched forehead.
how much longer.
how much longer?

rain falls.
wind blows.
beating like acid in the gashes.
need to breathe!
is the pain worth the effort?...
straining.
groaning.
more blood.

and then... the sky darkens.

undetectable to all others is a new sensation.
a tearing of heart and soul.
as though the very sinews of His heart are being pulled apart one at a time.
each one charged with such immeasurable guilt and emotion that screams of pain and mourning and agony echo within and without.
 crushing.
breaking.
tearing.
stabbing.

and still living.

trying to surface for another breath.
trying to breathe in while choking back screams and tears and groans.

how much longer!
how  much longer!?

no peace.
no hope.

blackness creeping near now.
muscles still struggling to keep from dying.
soul decaying in acidic darkness.

barely breathing.
heart barely beating....
one more breath... one more...

muscles tense again.
pulling.
pain... death...
gulping for air as muscles fail...  fail all together
and down again with a jerk.
ripping pain as the nails catch against gravity.
searing pain.

and with that breath.
one sentence.
as though His very heart was being extracted.


it... is finished.


THAT is how He loves us.

God's love knows no end... no beginning... just discovery and rediscovery
-written 2/2/12-

change

...change...

a painful process that takes place when a current state is bad or the next one is better.  no one wants it, everyone needs it.

sometimes it is joyous.  often it is sorrowful.

sometimes it is a choice.  sometimes it is forced upon us.

sometimes we are glad of it.  sometimes we regret it.

...change...

it makes us grow.  forces us.
-written 6/22/11-

time

...time...

a measurement of life... reminding us of how limited we are...

...eternity...

a concept unable to be grasped... an unmeasurable, inconceivable, forever...
-6/6/11-