time...

why does it feel like all i ever do is wait?

i wait on people at work, i wait for my day off, i wait to see my friends, i wait to do something eventful and fun.  i’m tired of waiting.  tired of just trudging through life with my eyes on tomorrow.  what about today? what about now?  why can’t each moment be full of wonder and excitement?  always trudging, always with my head down waiting. 

they says to stop and smell the roses.  and it is so true.  stop and smell the roses.  stop and watch the clouds float by.  stop and share a warm smile.  stop and stretch your toes as far as they will go.  stop and hug your sister.  stop and listen to the wind.  just stop.

but then all of the business closes back over me again.  like a rush of a million voices calling me back to my responsibilities. time is of the essence they say, but time is just another measurement of waiting.  waiting on time -  time waiting on me.  how do i stop time?  and no, i don’t mean literally make it stop altogether.  i mean make the idea of it stand still in my mind, my heart.  how do i reach into the depths of my soul and stop the urgent ticking.  stop that irritating noise of time gone by.  
tick…tick… tick…

how?

time doesn’t rule me!  it doesn’t own me!

this life is God’s.  not time’s.  not even mine.

no need to worry.  no need to rush…

…waiting on time - time waiting on me.

tick… tick… tick…

…

silence.

- written 4/17/14 -